


Because I Love Him

by TomatoWithLegs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise Has Issues, M/M, Torture Flashbacks, i just love them so much, kaneki is once again a tortured soul, so warning, there is a sex scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-10-25 15:59:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomatoWithLegs/pseuds/TomatoWithLegs
Summary: Hide smiled, his eyes lighting up when he saw his friend.Kaneki realized just how much he missed that smile, that beautiful, bright smile.”Well,” Hide opened the door wider and grinned. “Don’t just stand there, come inside!”





	1. Chapter 1

Kaneki stood in the rain, the water drops mixing with the dried blood plastered on his body. His whole body was sore and aching,but that didn’t matter now.

He stood in front of a house he knew very well, a house he could never forget.

He could almost say he has been here more times than his own home. Almost.

This house belonged to Hide, his long time friend he has known since childhood.

Hide always told him to come over anytime he wished, so here he is.

The white haired ghoul walked up the porch and stood in front of the wooden door, just barely taking cover from the heavy rain.

He moved his hand to the door, hesitating just before his bruised knuckles knocked on the wood.

Kaneki sighed, wishing he never came here. He shouldn’t drag Hide into his ghoul life.

But his friend always told him to come to his house when in trouble.

So here he is, clad in his black, skintight suit with his mask he almost never takes off.

He has blood and grime all over him, along with cuts and bruises all over his body.

There was also a very deep gash in his side, but he could already feel his body healing.

But his injuries is not why he is here. 

Kaneki really doesn’t know the reason he is here. 

_To check on Hide_, Kaneki tells himself.

He hasn’t seen him in so long. 

Kaneki just needs to know if he is okay.

The ghoul sighed again and rapped on the wood, biting his bottom lip in anticipation.

He heard a muffled ‘coming’ before hearing the shuffling of feet.

The door opened to Hide, who was wearing his normal attire.

Hide’s face lit up when he saw Kaneki.

But was immediately replaced with concern when he saw the cuts and bruises littered across his friend’s skin.

Then he smiled, hiding his concern.

Kaneki realized just how much he missed that smile, that beautiful, bright smile.

”Well,” Hide opened the door wider and grinned. “Don’t just stand there, come inside!”

The ghoul looked at Hide for a minute longer and then walked inside the familiar house.

Kaneki heard the door close behind him, he glanced back to see Hide with his hand still on the door knob.

The blonde looked like he was shaking, Kaneki got worried and called out his name.

Hide turned around and softly smiled, tears running down his face.

”I’m sorry, Kaneki.” Hide’s voice shook as he moved closer to his friend. “I just thought I would never see you again, and now you’re here...”

The ghoul moved closer to his friend, a worried look in his eye. 

The blonde sighed and wiped the tears away.

”I’m okay.” Hide whispered, still wiping tears away. “Can...Can you take the mask off?”

Kaneki was hesitant at first, but then nodded and did what was asked.

Hide smiled more as he looked onto the ghoul’s face, fresh tears threatening to fall.

”Kaneki...” Hide cupped his hands on the ghoul’s cheek, moving them to his white hair. “It’s really you.”

Hide then suddenly put his arms around his friend and pulled him into a hug.

Kaneki was surprised at first, but then closed his eyes and inhaled Hide’s scent.

The white haired ghoul could hear the blonde softly sniffling as they held each other.

Hide pulled away first, wiping away his tears with a smile on his face.

”I’m sorry, I just realized how long it has been since I’ve seen you. I thought I would never see you again, I missed you...”

Kaneki lightly smiled at that, a sad look in his eyes. 

Hide put his hands on his friend’s cheeks and quietly laughed.

”So you can smile!”

Kaneki only smiled bigger as he looked at his grinning friend.

”It’s because I’m with you.”

Kaneki stopped smiling and realized what he had said. 

The ghoul put a hand behind his neck in embarrassment as his cheeks were lightly dusted with red.

Hide just laughed, making the Kaneki slightly laugh as well.

God, Kaneki missed that laugh so much. He would do anything to hear him laugh again.

”I guess I’m not the only one with cheesy pick up lines.” Hide laughed more as Kaneki’s face got a brighter red.

”You know I didn’t mean it like that...”

”Yeah, Yeah. Sure you didn’t.” 

The white haired ghoul smiled again, he missed bantering with Hide. He almost wished that he never left, just so he could be with him.

”Oh!” Hide suddenly said with concern, his eyes focused on the deep cut in Kaneki’s side, it still hasn’t fully healed yet. “Do you need something for that?”

Kaneki shook his head, looking down at the gash.

”It doesn’t hurt.”

”Are you sure? That looks pretty bad.”

”I’m sure, I’ve had worse.”

Hide’s face grew more concerned, but he didn’t ask any more questions.

”Would you at least like to take a shower?”

Kaneki nodded.

”Just go down the hallway and it will be the door on the left.”

”I know.”

Hide laughed, embarrassed that he forgot Kaneki spent most of his time here.

The white haired ghoul softly smiled and then walked to the door where the bathroom was, he went inside and started the shower.

Kaneki then peeled his clothes off, and looked in the mirror.

His cuts and bruises disappeared from his skin, the gash in his side was now just a small cut.

When the ghoul got in the shower, he sighed and let the warm water flow around him.

He just wished none of this had happened, that he was still a human. 

Then everything would be normal.

He wouldn’t be a monster.

He wouldn’t have to deal with this constant pain in his head that tells him to do bad things.

He hates being like this.

He hates being a ghoul.

But at least he could protect his friends, protect the people around him that he loved.

_He could protect Hide._

His friend was the most important person in his life, he left to become stronger so he could protect Hide.

It worked, but he could tell his absence affected the blonde. 

Kaneki sighed again and got out of the shower, turning the water off.

He saw clean clothes set out for him, he must have been thinking a lot that he didn’t hear Hide come in.

The white haired ghoul changed into the clothes and stepped out of the steamy room.

He walked into the kitchen and saw Hide making coffee.

”Hey!” The blonde greeted him and smiled. “Are you doing better?”

Kaneki nodded and moved to stand beside his friend, watching him make the coffee.

”I don’t really know how to make coffee, so don’t expect anything good. I probably should have let you make it-“

Kaneki cut him off by putting his head on Hide’s shoulder, his damp white hair wetting the blonde’s clothes.

Hide just softly smiled and put an arm around his friend, combing his hand through his wet hair.

Hide rested his head on top of Kaneki’s, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of the shampoo he used.

”I missed you too.” Kaneki croaked as he held onto his friend, silent tears falling from his grey eyes.

Hide was silent as he continued to softly stroke the ghoul’s hair.

“Hide.” Kaneki suddenly said, still resting his head on the blonde’s shoulder.

Hide made a questioning ‘mhm’ sound as he looked down at his friend.

”Why aren’t you scared of me?”

Hide frowned and put a hand up to Kaneki’s chin, lifting his head so their eyes met.

”Why would I ever be afraid of you? You’re my best friend, and nothing will change that.”

”But I changed.” Kaneki looked away in shame, tears threatening to fall from his grey eyes.

”I’m a ghoul who kills people now,” tears were now streaming down Kaneki’s face as he spoke, making his voice crack. “I’m not the same person you once knew...”

Hide’s eyes held so much emotion, he looked like he was about to cry and yell at him at the same time.

But instead, Hide just put his arms around him, hugging him tightly around the shoulders.

”You are still Ken Kaneki. I don’t care that you are a ghoul now, you still are-and will continue to be my friend.” 

Hide hugged Kaneki closer, putting a reassuring hand in his hair.

“I don’t care how many people you’ve killed, or how many you’ve eaten, I will still love you for who you are...”

”You...love me?”

Hide slightly giggled and pulled away from the hug, looking into the ghoul’s grey eyes.

”Are you that blind, Kaneki? I thought you were the smart one of us...”

The white haired ghoul wiped away his tears and looked down at his hands nervously.

“I love you too.” Kaneki said just barely above a whisper.

Hide smiled and took both of his hands into his own.

”Does this mean I finally get to kiss you?”

”Wh-What?” Kaneki said, flustered by Hide’s outrightness. “U-Uhm, I mean, I don’t kno-“

The white haired ghoul’s eyes went completely wide when he was cut off by a pair of lips.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to make Kaneki hunger for more.

Hide nervously laughed and waited for the ghoul’s reaction.

He didn’t have to wait long, Kaneki grabbed the sides of the blonde’s face and smashed their lips back together.

Hide was surprised at first, but then he closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss, bringing his hands to rest on the ghoul’s shoulders.

The kiss lasted longer than the first one, making the human and ghoul ache for more.

Hide moved one of his hands down to Kaneki’s lower back as his other hand combed through the ghoul’s white hair, deepening the kiss.

Kaneki softly moaned into Hide’s lips as he pulled the blonde closer to him, wanting- no- _needing _more of his friend on his lips.

Hide was just so intoxicating, the ghoul longed for more of him. For so long Kaneki has wanted this, and now that he has it, he wants more. The ghoul opened his mouth wider. Hide did the same, their tongues slid against each other as Hide’s hand roamed lower.

The blonde grabbed Kaneki’s thigh, bringing it up to rest on his hip. The white haired ghoul gasped in surprise.

Hide used this time to pick up his other thigh and push him against the wall, their bodies fit perfectly together.

Kaneki got over his initial shock and wrapped his legs around the blonde’s hips. He combed a hand through Hide’s hair and cupped his cheek with the other.

The ghoul wanted to feel all of Hide, he wanted more.

Kaneki bit at Hide’s bottom lip, pulling on his blonde hair, he tasted the sweet tang of blood and immediately froze. His left eye glowed black and red as his ghoul side instantly reacted to the blood.

Hide shouted in pain, pulling away from Kaneki and holding a hand to his lips.

Kaneki just stood there, worried for his friend.

”Hide...?” The ghoul slowly approached his friend, concern and guilt shining from his grey eyes.

”I’m fine! It’s nothing!” Hide quickly said at Kaneki’s guilty look.

“See?”He took his hand away from his face, showing his lips to the ghoul.

All the blood drained from Kaneki’s face as he looked at Hide’s lips. His bottom lip had a deep bite mark that oozed blood. The red substance slowly flowed down his chin, making Kaneki even more worried.

”I...I am sorry, Hide.” The white haired ghoul looked like he was on the verge of tears. “This is what I was talking about, I could hurt you, and I don’t want to do that...I don’t want to hurt you, Hide.”

The blonde just softly smiled and put a comforting hand on Kaneki’s shoulder.

“You know, I’m tougher than I look. I can handle a lot.” Hide cupped the ghoul’s cheek and lowered his voice to a soft whisper. “And I would go through anything just to be with you, Kaneki.”

“Really?” Kaneki looked up at Hide, finding only the truth in his brown eyes. 

Hide just quietly laughed and put his arms around Kaneki’s shoulders, bringing him closer. 

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? I was looking for you.” Hide put his head on Kaneki’s shoulder, he smiled into the crook of the ghoul’s neck. “The famous ghoul ‘The Eyepatch’ is very hard to find, you know. I’ve looked everywhere for you, Kaneki.”

The white haired ghoul looked down sadly and put a hand in Hide’s hair, stroking the soft blonde locks in a comforting way.

”You’ll stay the night, right?” Hide’s voice was soft and held an almost begging tone. 

“I....” Kaneki looked down to see Hide looking up at him with pleading brown eyes. “If you want me to...”

The blonde nodded his head vigorously and smiled brightly.

Kaneki’s face softened at his eagerness as the ghoul sighed.

”Ok...But first let’s take care of your wound.”

”Yeah..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you so much for reading the first chapter, the next one will be up soon. Hope you all enjoyed! 😄


	2. Chapter 2

Kaneki laid on the bed with his head next to Hide’s. They (Meaning Hide) decided that they should sleep in the same room, in the same bed....

When Kaneki asked, Hide just replied with something along the lines of ‘I’m cold and scared and totally not because I want to hold you.’ Which the ghoul knew wasn’t true, but went along with it anyways.

Kaneki was now tucked under the covers, his cold body right up against Hide’s warm one.

The blonde’s arms were securely wrapped around his torso. Kaneki knows that they were not in this position when they first laid together. They were actually about a foot apart, and now they were so close that Kaneki could hear Hide’s deep breaths and slow heart beat that indicated he was asleep.

It felt nice to be held up against his best friend, he had never been held this intimately by someone before, so it was a little awkward for him. But it felt nice nonetheless.

It was so warm, Kaneki could feel himself being pulled in by the soft lull of sleep.

His eyelids suddenly felt heavy as he let himself be consumed by the sound of Hide’s breathing, the thought of sleep becoming more and more appealing.

* * * * * *  
Kaneki groggily opened his eyes, sleep still fresh in his mind.

When his eyes finally adjusted to the strange light above him, he saw that he was not in Hide’s bedroom anymore.

He wasn’t even in a bed. He was strapped to a chair, his wrists and ankles hurt every time he tried to move.

The room he was in was red—no—it was white with a lot of a red substance plastered on the walls, making it look like it was red at first glance.

The ghoul sighed, he looked down to assess his situation better. But his grey eyes caught something on the floor.

It was all over the floor. 

The same red substance that was on the walls was covering the floor, making it difficult to see the actual color of the floor.

This place looked oddly familiar....Where was he? 

Why is he here?

A door squeaking made Kaneki look up and be pulled from his thoughts.

That is when Kaneki saw him, a very tall man wearing a white suit and a mask walked through the door.

_Jason._

He now remembered where he was. The same place he lost all feeling, all hope.

_But why was he here of all places?_

The white haired ghoul was filled with fear, shaking as the bigger ghoul slowly approached him.

The tall man laughed when he saw Kaneki, it was like he was mocking him.

“Back for more, are we?” Jason’s deep voice echoed, sending shivers down Kaneki’s spine.

He didn’t want to go through this again.

No, not again. 

Jason sat down on the stool in front of him and took out rusty pliers.

He can’t.

”Now the fun can begin!”

_He can’t do this again._

”No..Please, I—.” His plea was cut off by his own screaming, while pain shot through his hand and up his arm.

Jason took his pliers and pulled off his finger nail, dropping it in the bucket he had next to him.

Kaneki’s blood dripped to the floor, mingling with the dried blood that was previously there, left by other unfortunate souls.

”One thousand minus seven.” Jason said as he continued his assault of Kaneki’s nails.

The shorter ghoul just hung his head, ignoring Jason, who found this infuriating and ripped his nail off with more force than before.

”O-One— One Thousand!” Kaneki yelled out as the taller ghoul grinned down at him.

”More!”

”Ni- Nine hundred an-and ninety three!”

Kaneki continued to count down in intervals of seven, the pain becoming unbearable.

He just wanted to die.

He wanted the pain to go away.

He wanted warmth again.

_He wanted Hide._

“Oh, so I see how it is...” Jason suddenly stopped. He stood up and looked down at Kaneki. 

”I know how to break you.”

Jason then suddenly walked out the door, leaving Kaneki, who was still trying to grasp the meaning of his words.

The taller ghoul returned in less than a minute, he was pulling along a ragged rope. 

Attached to the rope, he saw a full head of blonde hair.

_No._

“I will break you.” Jason laughed at how all the blood drained from Kaneki’s face.

_It can’t be._

”N—NO!” The shorter ghoul’s grey eyes widened as he looked at the familiar face.

_Hide._

Why was he here? _Why?_

It looked like Hide was just barely awake, he had cuts and bruises all over his exposed skin.

“How would you feel if I spilled his blood instead of yours? You would feel no pain, but your friend here will.” Jason cackled and grasped Hide’s neck, holding up in the air while choking him.

”_Stop! I’ll do anything, just stop!_” Kaneki yelled, he couldn’t bear to see his friend in pain.

”So you want me to cause you pain instead of your friend?”

”_Yes!_ _Just let him go! Hurt me as much as you want, just let Hide go!_”

Jason dropped the blonde, letting him fall to the floor with a thud. 

Hide coughed, holding his throat. He looked up at Kaneki and managed a smile, silently thanking the ghoul for saving him.

”No...” The taller ghoul said suddenly, his tone full of sadistic excitement. “I think physical pain will not break you, but seeing your friend die right in front of you, now that will break you. Especially since you can’t stop me from killing him!”

Jason stomped on Hide’s torso, making the blonde scream out in pain as his ribs get crushed. Blood dribbled out of his mouth as he coughed up the red substance.

Kaneki shouted and screamed as the bigger ghoul continued his assault on Hide. He struggled to escape his bonds, but just made his bruised wrists hurt more.

”How does this feel, Kaneki, to have to watch your friend die right in front of you?” Jason asked as he put his foot on Hide’s head, threatening to crush his skull.

Kaneki’s breathing became uneven as he watched his friend wince in pain.

He had to save him,_ he had to._

_Hide is all that mattered, nothing else._

The smaller ghoul sprang into action, he broke free from his bonds with a newfound strength and released his Kagune, his focus was on killing the taller ghoul in front of him and saving Hide from certain death.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I know I left y’all on a cliffhanger, sorry! But stay tuned for the next chapter! 😁


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